| If you've been on a flight enough times for the initial | | | | You can't have been on a flight where there wasn't |
| euphoria of being airborne to have worn off, then | | | | at least one precious little angel crying its lungs out |
| you will truly empathize with my list of Top 5 | | | | for no apparent reason. Flights and bawling babies are |
| Annoyances on Flights. Here's the list: | | | | like strawberries and cream. I suspect most babies |
| The Topmost Terror: Clueless Co-passengers | | | | are wise enough to realize that it's sheer stupidity to |
| Few of us can afford the serenity and luxury of a | | | | pay money to be suspended mid-air with the other |
| business class cabin, bereft of certain kinds of | | | | four annoyances and that's the reason they make |
| unpleasant passengers. There are some people who | | | | their displeasure known. Cooing parents will stare you |
| find it necessary to become voluble at high altitudes | | | | down if you so much as think of protesting. Mothers |
| and insist on making conversation with you even if | | | | really ARE clairvoyant. |
| you politely express your disinterest. I once met a | | | | The Fourth Frustration: Flak for Food |
| lady travelling for the first time who was dealing with | | | | Frequent flyers often complain about the food |
| her nervousness by telling me all about her vast | | | | served on flights, and with good reason. Not only |
| family tree and her recent recovery from an ear | | | | does it require immense focus to set one's cup of |
| infection, until I pointedly told her I wanted to get | | | | tea/coffee down on the groove in the table, but |
| some rest. She didn't take the hint until I asked the | | | | you're also on tenterhooks when the air hostess |
| stewardess for earplugs. | | | | leans across to pour a scalding hot beverage into |
| Other irritating passengers peacefully fall asleep and | | | | your co-traveler's cup. All you can do is watch in |
| leave you awake, thanks to their loud and unabated | | | | trepidation. Any solid food is inevitably tasteless or |
| snores. Still others are oblivious of causing discomfort | | | | worse, rancid. Any attempt to carry your own food |
| to others because of their propensity to itch, scratch | | | | is met with reproachful looks from the pretty cabin |
| or stare. And I hope you never encounter one of | | | | crew. The babies seem to have it good, don't they? |
| those inebriated passengers who invariably occupy | | | | They don't have to consume anything that passes |
| seats that make it necessary for you to get up and | | | | off as food on flights AND they get extra candy and |
| let them pass every time they need to visit the | | | | mollycoddling. Hmmph. |
| restroom. | | | | The Fifth Fun-killer: Minimization of your moolah |
| The Second Scream: Space Wars | | | | You may be flying economy class and dying of thirst |
| This has nothing to do with aliens. It is a constant | | | | but that won't prevent your friendly flight attendant |
| game of push-and-pull with the people in the seats in | | | | from over-charging you for that tiny bottle of mineral |
| front of and behind you. One of them will lean back | | | | water. Or you might want to indulge in |
| to rest just as you decided to use the food table | | | | comfort-eating because of the other four |
| while another has stretched out his legs so far that | | | | annoyances but then find that the packet of chips is |
| you can see the tip of his shoe peeping out from | | | | priced at no less than the final bid at an auction for a |
| under your seat if you just glance downwards. | | | | famous artist's final masterpiece. Well, that bottle of |
| Sandwiched thus, you plead for help, only to face | | | | water or packet of food has been caught traveling |
| disconcertingly blank stares from the cabin crew and | | | | without a ticket. Who's going to pay for its airfare? |
| those in adjacent seats. Add to that the horror of an | | | | Who else but the beleaguered traveler for whom it |
| aisle seat, with attendants bumping into your funny | | | | hopped onto the aircraft in the first place? You, of |
| bone every time the food trolley goes by. And you | | | | course! |
| thought window seats were coveted only for the | | | | Now you know why I smirk every time I'm told to |
| view they proffered? | | | | "have a pleasant flight! |
| The Third Tyrant: Bawling babies | | | | |